Play ~ Growth ~ Happiness

In childhood everything I drew was from my imagination or just a basic idea about something, in other words, not from observation or study. A change took place in 7th through 8th grade, an attempt to draw our fish tank with neon tetras and an angelfish. I completely do not remember this drawing. However, I do recall spending much time gazing at and into the aquarium. I remember the porcelain no fishing sign, the plastic plants and the orange rocks at the bottom. Here it is almost square, but in real life it was a long rectangular aquarium too big to be lifted or moved. I loved it, even though the fish fought and it required much work to clean.

When we got a cat, I drew the cat...

I even wrote a true story about how she liked to swim in the aquarium and eat fish food.

Occasionally, I went back to my animal cartoons...like this electric panda...

Mostly, I began to focus on faces, people, proportions, expressions, and no one was telling me to do this...not a teacher, none of my peers, not a family member...it was a personal passion. There was really nothing else that I wanted to draw... I combed over magazines looking for faces to copy. 

I even thought I would try painting. I admit it is pretty horrible, but at the same time wonderful that I had direction...I think I had more direction in my youth before I became concerned with money and paying off the bills...and that only came after getting my Bachelor of Fine Arts and needing to pay off the loans...

So it seems, my method of going after my passion, also took me away from my passion for a time.

I payed off these loans after working full time for twelve years in the field of production design.

Can you see with each piece there is a bit of improvement? The word "talented" came up a lot in later years, and "from a talented family", but the way I looked at it was like this... I worked harder at drawing than I have worked on or for anything else ever... it didn't feel like a natural ability to me. I think these early examples support that! :)

I guess my dad drew faces in a sketchbook when he was younger, but as long as I have known him he has drawn mostly ducks. If family gave me anything in the area of the arts, it was permission to be involved with them, to create, and materials at hand to use. No one really ever sat down with me to help me, I just kept going at it by taking as many art classes as the school would allow and trying out things like this contour drawing of another student from behind.

Still, it is true that I come from a family where many of its members find great worth in creating things, and while it may not feel natural or like it comes easy to me, it definitely is in my nature. I am very happy for this, because I simply can not imagine life without the joy of art. 

This is the first time I study myself in the mirror to pencil a self portrait, looks nothing like me. The only reason I know is because of that crazy hair....that year I sprayed my bangs straight up. 

So from a fish aquarium to an exaggerated Lucille Ball...

Oh wow....I just remembered I did a George Michael drawing that I kept in my locker. I'm sure I did a lot, that I won't ever think of again, but this drawing...this is the first one I really remember doing and feeling like I did it well. Of course, I can see everything wrong with it now....but why do that to myself? I can see everything right with it as well... 

Don't be afraid to draw or afraid of what other people with think or say about your drawing. Or whatever it is you like to do, do it and enjoy it for what it is, and not what you want it to be in the future. Put the fun back into being, the fun back into growing. Little kids have it right....each new drawing they make...they think it is something to show everyone, why not? Each new drawing for them is an improvement, no matter how small, and they know that...they know they are growing and they are not in a hurry to get to perfection, only in a hurry to get to playing.

Play ~ Growth ~ Happiness